Character Work

 Gary Ezzo wrote in his series, "Growing Kids God's Way," that "a legalistic approach to parenting is very dangerous, leaving in its wake a frustrated child-one that fears failure rather than loves virtue."

I have been diligently working in the recent weeks with my oldest boys regarding character and how important it is to not just have obedience, but how good character is essential. My sweet friend let me know about this lady who has created a list of Godly character qualities, charts, and other books to help with teaching and encouraging Godly character traits in your children. It has been great and even little Kingston is getting a lot out of it. We work up to about 10 checks a piece (and I work really hard at watching them and pointing out to them when I see them display one of these qualities that is on the list) and then when they have gotten 10 they can get something out of the Treasure Chest which is filled with little cheap nick-knack toys like stickers, books, marbles, play dough, paintable figurines, and so on. It so excites them when they get to pick out a treat, but really they love just as much standing and listening to me explain with a Bible verse whatever quality it is that they displayed. This has been a wonderful learning tool!
The info. for these charts is 
The Courtship Connection (734-847-5210) if you want to order them for yourself.
I also purchased some ribbons to reward them with too that has the verse, "Let us not be weary in well doing" Galatians 6:9 that Alder really enjoys and the books, "Character Prayers," and "Proverbs for Parenting" both of which are great for quick references for Bible verses and to use as family devotionals. Also, I bought the book, "Child Training Tips" by Reb Bradley. This book is gold and should be read by every parent trying to achieve effective discipline and mature children. I just called the number above and spoke to the lady and she took my credit card over the phone and sent all of it right to me. Easy as pie. 
I hope this helps someone else as much as it has helped (and is helping) our little ones grow. 

French Beach

The best thing that we do all summer is to go to "French Beach," as Alder calls it. 
We load up the boat and usually with friends, hot dogs, shovels, buckets, some towels, a card table and folding chairs, a lighter, some wine, and the ingredients to make smores. As we speed along the river in the boat the boys scream with excitement, reach back to touch the water spray, count the wild animals we see along the way, and help Daddy drive. The excitement has built and as we reach the sandy bank, I can hardly keep them in the boat. As I lift them down into the shallow water, I watch Alder and Kingston race away down the shoreline giggling and embracing this authentic place, the freedom, and the sense of adventure. 
The Black Warrior is full of adventure and freedom and is truly an authentic place to be "raising" our boys. It is perfect for them. They bathe in the mud, swim in the dark waters, start fires with Daddy, collect sticks, and learn of the place around them. It thrills me that "French Beach" is a place that they can really be boys. A couple of times now we have taken along the wonderful Smith family and cooked out our dinner over an open fire, watch the children explore, and bask in the soothing effects of being by open water.
A simple life...and young children.
What a blessing.

Merry Christmas to us and Gingerbread Making (aka killing time on dreary winter afternoons)

Jared and I have not exchanged Christmas gifts with each other for the last several years because unfortunately money does not grow on the trees in the backyard. I have sometimes felt a little sad about this, but all such silly sadness was swept away recently when the best gift ever was given to us. Actually the gift comes with its own bitter sweetness, but I will explain. 

This big, beautiful piece of stainless steel is a wondrous espresso machine. I will confidently say that Jared and I fully appreciate what is actually sitting on our counter as we have been (somewhat secretly) coffee junkies ever since living abroad for a year. We fix it every morning, grind the beans (in a magic bullet (have you seen those on TV?) which I would not recommend but then again money does not grow on trees and so you have to use what you got), obsess over getting the first cup, and so on. I think we swore that we would never be THOSE people, but alas we are. Maybe a gradual lack of sleep over the last 3 years with the arrival of little ones has gotten us to this point. Anyways, we were given this espresso machine by our dearest friends who recently moved away and had once owned a local coffee shop here in town. We are so tremendously sad to see them go, but in their parting I am thrilled by their gift to us. It is like Christmas morning every morning (almost) to have wonderful lattes, espresso, and so on all without much effort or clean-up. So in some ways this gift really seems to be making up for all the years without gifts for one another. It is so fun for Jared and I that we have been making coffee at night, laughing out loud at how good it tastes, how we feel like we just ran to Starbucks (which the closest one is an hour away), and feeding our slight addiction more and more each day. In fact, I am thinking of opening a coffee stand on the grassy median outside our house. "Main Street Coffee" sounds like a good name. I can just see Alder and Kingston now, taking orders from car windows, then calling the order into me via a walkie-talkie, making money, becoming a real barista. Wait, this image cannot work. Alder loves to sit down in the middle of the street and collect rocks and Kingston will wander from here to Mississippi without looking back. Yeah, not such a good idea. Maybe in a few years.....

 Moving on. I have found myself impressively full of energy for my children lately. I do not have the kind of energy this late in my pregnancy to pick up the dog food that Alder spilled this morning whilst feeding Ally and so it still, at 10:00 at night, lays around me on the floor, under the desk, and trailing on into the playroom. I just cannot bear the thought of bending over and the energy it will take to clean up one more mess today. So I will wait until Jared gets home from his business dinner and nicely ask him to sweep it up for me. But I do still seem to have a lot of patient energy for my children. We are doing crafts, having a lot of learning time, reading, building amazing train tracks around their room, mastering floor puzzles, and even making gingerbread men and decorating them. I am sure this energy will die off in the next several weeks as my body gets pushed to the limit and this baby's arrival nears. For now though I am enjoying this time with my two boys who are so fun and bring me such joy. We had such a great time last week making these cookies together after nap time, cutting them out, decorating them, and eating them (which is their favorite part). Alder and Kingston both loved the activity and it really held their attention. It also helped pass the time during these dreary winter days that darken so early and make entertaining the children a little more difficult. 

Random Shots and Thoughts

I just happened to have my camera the other day at church and I snapped these of Kingston. I think his reddish hair photographs so nicely against the light shining through the stained glass windows. He is my little buddy during the church service. I keep him occupied and entertained and Jared has Alder. The system works nicely now that it is "man on man" but what will happen when we go to "zone defense?" And not just for a 1 hour church service, but everyday with 3 little ones 3 and under? I am trying to prepare mentally, but am not really intimidated by the jump from 2 to 3 just because the jump from 1 to 2 who were 16 months apart was harrowing. We figure that will help put the jump from 2 to 3 in perspective.

There are some really sweet things about living in a small town and one of them was watching the homecoming parade last Friday. It is going to sound crazy, but it can be an emotional thing to watch such a parade. The streets are lined with seemingly everyone in town out to support the Tigers, to hear the marching band, to see the pride on the faces of the football players, coaches, cheerleaders, and the supporters. Combine all of that with the thunderous sounds of the fire trucks, police sirens, and honking cars and you may just find yourself really moved. I did. Its the heartbeat of America, a small town at its best. 

I took the boys and they absolutely LOVED it. LOVED IT! I dressed then in the school colors and tried to explain to them what it was we were about to see. Words cannot explain it and so I just let them wait, listen, and watch for the parade. 

Alder was captivated by it and it was clear that all the sounds and the spirit of the whole parade moved him too. 

Alder stood on the side and "conducted" the parade as they passed. He shook his arm with a very serious look on his face. He acted as if he was sending them off to "war" or something like that (not that he has any idea what war is). In the picture below, he may look as if he is angry, but he really just being serious and "conducting." He got a real kick out of the fact that the many floats that passed threw out candy. That was certainly an added bonus. 

Recently we made a homemade trail mix as an afternoon activity and it was a big hit. In this pictures though, it seems like Alder is whincing in pain or is not enjoying the activity. I assure you he loved the whole experience, but the kid consistently makes halirious facial expressions. Currently when he talks, he wrinkles up his nose, his brow, and squints his eyes and just talks. Oh, and at the same time he is twirling his hands. So silly.

Anyways, I just gathered a lot of "snacky" type things I had in the pantry and put them in individual bowls and then let Alder go to town by adding them to a big container. We used pistachios, chocolate covered raisins, cereal, golden raisins, crasins, sunflower seeds, cashews, and white chocolate chips. It was as easy as pie and somewhat healthy too.

And by the way, this funny-faced guy is paci free as of two weeks ago and is in a "big boy bed." He tells everyone how, "I'm a big boy and I threw my pacis away because they were broken and I a big boy." Of course taking him to Wal-Mart to pick out any toy he wanted as a reward for giving up paci helped immensely and he picked out Disney's Robin Hood. He is currently addicted to it, is Robin Hood for Halloween, and is daily practicing how to shoot his $2 bow and arrow. 

And some more random thoughts....

It is us VS. wasps right now in our house. Is anyone else having this issue? I can handle the recent influx of roaches, but wasps are a little intimidating when you have two small children and these wasps are aggressive. Between Jared and I we have killed about 15 in the last two days and I hear one right now flying against the windows in the dining room. What is the best thing to do about them?

I am 20 weeks pregnant today and still find myself struggling through each day. Seriously? This pregnancy has been so different that it still surprises me each day. But I am encouraged by the fact that I am half-way there.

Happy Hump Day!